We hear the word all the time. We know it exists. We go to conferences and lectures on its prevalence in our profession. Our committee often offers advice on how to prevent it and we beg our seasoned peers to preach wisdom and to offer us their secrets of success. But no one admits to it. Or no one is around to admit to it. So I will confess to you all that I am suffering from (dun dun duuuuuun) burnout.

Now let me stand back and say to you that I am not thinking of leaving this profession. I truly love my profession, but right now I am not sure that I am loving my job. I think this time every year takes it toll on the high school athletic trainer, but for some reason, this time, is different. I'm not just hot and sweaty with aching feet and long hours.

Going back to my sport psych work in grad school, I think the more accurate descriptor of my discord would be “staleness,” the emotional problems stemming from “daily worries, anxieties, and feelings of restlessness that typically is unnamable or specific.” But the thing with staleness is that it can easily morph into this burnout phenomenon that we all know exists.

I can’t put my finger on the “it” that has me Googling PhD programs and searching the NATA website for curriculum programs; on why this month I am completely unmotivated to watch football practice or to preplan a new rehab. Maybe its because two of my best friends left coaching last year (ironically to burnout!) and I miss having them around. I miss the distraction, of not having to talk about work related stuff with an adult and the hide out they could provide with a 10-minute gab session in their offices. Or maybe its that my husband has been working as much as me the last few weeks, leaving our sleep schedules to be the only thing we are sharing. Could it be as simple as that? That I am a victim of the life-work struggle they have warned me about?

Or perhaps it is indeed the restlessness. Am I where I want to be professionally? Am I what I want to be when I grow up? As young professionals, we need to continue to encourage exploration professionally. Being a part of this organization or a committee allows us to continue to evolve from graduate to professional, but we have to recognize that it is a transition and not an absolute. I’m not sure how many of us can admit to having already scored their dream job, but the YPC is set up to help all of us transition into the athletic trainer we want to be. I know my passion and I believe I have discovered where in the athletic training profession I belong. I just now need the courage and resolve to pursue it.